5 Ways to Share Gratitude This Holiday Season

5 Ways to Share Gratitude This Holiday Season Did you know that some studies have shown that the positive effects of sharing gratitude can make you feel happier for months afterward? In his 2005 study, Dr. Martin E. P. Seligman, the father of positive psychology that I present in my book: 21 Days to Happiness, had participants hand-deliver letters to people thanking them for doing something kind. The people who did this felt an immediate increase in happiness, and the effects lasted for months after the delivery of the letter. Gratitude can be a powerful force that brings happiness to ourselves and others. Here are 5 ways to share gratitude and give lift your own happiness level. 1. Hand-deliver a Note Thanking Someone for Kindness Just like the participants in Dr. Seligman’s study, you can write and hand-deliver a note, card or letter to someone you’ve never thanked for their kindness. It only takes a few moments to write a short note acknowledging someone for their thoughtfulness. You can make the note as simple or elaborate as you would like. The important thing is to express thanks and deliver the message to the person you’d like to show your appreciation for. Of course, if hand delivery is not practical, a simple text, email or post will do the job! 2. Start a Gratitude Journal In one study on gratitude, participants wrote down five things they felt grateful for each week. They reported a greater sense of optimism and fewer instances of headaches, colds, and skin issues. Making note of your blessings or things you’re grateful for in a journal also allows you to flip back through the past entries and reflect on what you’ve listed. You may want to start a yearly ritual of reviewing everything you listed in the journal for the past year. This is a great activity to do with a partner, friends, and family as well. This habit is so impactful that I chose to write a whole chapter on it proposing a variety of suggestions to make it a habit. 3. Do Something Kind for Someone Else An act of kindness can be as simple as holding the door for a stranger or picking up coffee for a coworker or friend. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture, though those can make someone feel special, too. The beautiful thing about doing something kind for others is that it boosts our happiness no matter how large or small the favor is. 4. Be Present As we head into the holiday season, be careful not to let the to-do lists and holiday plans crowd out the quiet spaces in your mind. Make it a point to stay in the moment as you go about your day, especially as you have conversations with others. If you notice your mind wandering, it’s okay. No shame! Simply draw your attention back to the moment. 5. Let Gratitude Guide You This Season As you make holiday plans, think about the [...]

By |2024-11-18T12:30:25-04:00November 18th, 2024|Happiness Tips|Comments Off on 5 Ways to Share Gratitude This Holiday Season

How Gratitude in Relationships Boosts Joy

How Gratitude in Relationships Boosts Joy “Practicing gratitude invites joy into our lives.” – Dr. Brene Brown, PhD, LMSW The relationship between joy and gratitude is a powerful one. We’ve talked before about the incredibly positive impact a gratitude practice can have on our personal happiness. This year, as we head into the holiday season, let’s talk about the effect of gratitude on our relationship happiness. 1. Reminds Us of the Value of Our Relationships It may be an old habit to say thank you to your partner, friends, or family members when they do something for you but taking a moment to think about how their actions affect you and what it says about who they are will help you mine more joy. When someone notices you struggling to carry bags of groceries and steps in to hold a door or help carry the bags, it means they are paying attention to our needs. What a blessing it is to have someone who notices our needs and takes action to meet them, even in small ways. 2. Helps Us Turn Our Gratitude into Action When we take note of our feelings of gratitude for the people in our lives, we start to become more aware of their needs. We start to notice the ways we can show our appreciation to them. This doesn’t mean having to create a grand gesture. Kind words and small favors are powerful ways to show our gratitude to others. And they matter. And what happens when we do something that generates gratitude in someone else? Joy blooms for us, too. 3. Allows Us to Believe the Best It’s much easier to overlook small inconveniences or challenging exchanges when we have a full reserve of gratitude in ourselves. Those moments that generated gratitude—the kitchen your family helped clean up or the favorite coffee someone grabbed for you the morning after a long night—make it easier to overlook the next time someone forgets to meet a responsibility or has a grouchy morning. The gratitude memories make it easier to remember that our friend or family member is more than this momentary, disappointing situation. Their character is more easily defined by the positive ways they connect with us in our lives, which is another way gratitude in relationships boosts joy. 4. Motivates Us to Keep Our Relationships One of the amazing things we learn from research about gratitude in relationships is that gratitude is a powerful predictor of whether the relationship will last. Romantic relationships in which people feel little gratitude toward one another are less likely to last long-term. Relationships with the highest levels of gratitude between people are much more likely to last. That alone is a powerful statement, and it makes a lot of sense. When we’re in relationships in which people feel gratitude for us, we feel valued and great about ourselves. When we’re in relationships in which we express gratitude, we experience more happiness. Looking at it that way, it’s easy to [...]

By |2023-11-15T19:31:48-04:00November 15th, 2023|Happiness Tips|Comments Off on How Gratitude in Relationships Boosts Joy

5 Easy Ways to Start a Daily Gratitude Practice 

5 Easy Ways to Start a Daily Gratitude Practice In the push from Halloween to Christmas, sometimes we lose sight of one of the most important traditions in holiday celebration: pausing to be thankful. In her research on joy, Daring Greatly author Brené Brown noticed a connection she didn’t expect. People who were living joyful lives also followed a daily gratitude practice. What does that mean? Practicing gratitude goes further than having an “attitude of gratitude”, though that’s a great place to begin. A gratitude practice means taking action or spending time purposefully reflecting on experiences, relationships, and things we are grateful for. This year, as the holidays approach, make a point to pause and reflect on the moments you’re grateful for. Maybe for you, it’s that coffee date with a friend, or watching your favorite holiday movie. How can you reduce stress and celebrate gratitude along with your holiday traditions this year? Here are 5 easy ways to add a gratitude practice to your life. 1. Keep a Gratitude Journal Start a journal and commit to writing in it every day. Set a time to do this, perhaps just before bed or in the morning when you first wake up. List three things you’re thankful for. If you prefer the tech approach, there are many apps like 3 Good Things or 5 Minute Journal to log in the things that you feel thankful for. Once you get into the habit, you may find days where it’s hard to limit yourself to just three! 2. Create a Gratitude Jar Place a large vase or jar in a central area in your home alongside scraps of paper and a pen. Write down something you’re grateful for every day on a slip of paper and place it in the jar. Consider setting a time of day when you add something to the jar. Also set a time of the month or season when you sit down and read the notes in the jar. Perhaps every Sunday evening, so that you go into a new workweek with a boost of gratitude. You can do this alone or with your family and perhaps read your “best moments” together during the year end holidays! 3. Take a Savoring Walk Each day, take a “savoring walk”. Spend about twenty minutes walking outside. Let your mind slow down and notice the shapes of the trees, the sound of the wind, and the feel of the sun on your face. Pause to appreciate these things and acknowledge your gratitude for them. 4. Appreciate by Abstaining There are many ways in which we live comfortable lives. We have food to eat, electricity, and internet access. We have access to books and media through stores and libraries. One way to practice gratitude is to choose to abstain from a pleasurable experience for a period of time. You may try giving up sweets, your favorite store-bought latte, or try a social media detox for a period of time, such as a [...]

By |2023-03-24T12:02:26-04:00November 22nd, 2022|Happiness Tips|Comments Off on 5 Easy Ways to Start a Daily Gratitude Practice 

Being Grateful

We have so much to be grateful for. It's that time of year...the holidays, the parties, the excitement! You probably have a lot to be grateful for and may take some things for granted. You don't need much in order to be happy. Many people without a lot still find real happiness in their daily lives. Have an Attitude of Gratitude What you do need in order to be happy is to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Take a moment to reflect on the past year and make a list of 10 things you have to be grateful for. Note the things you tend to overlook. Think of what you do have instead of what you don't: health, family, work, home, friends... Focusing on these blessings will foster an attitude of gratitude in your life. And that attitude is like fertile soil where happiness will grow and flourish. Develop a habit of noticing good things and expressing your gratitude for them. Try it for 21 days. You will see a difference in your overall happiness and contentment. Ready to start your happiness journey?  "Day one" of my book, 21 Days to Happiness focuses on gratitude, and offers additional tips and strategies for greater happiness through gratitude. Each day of the 21 day journey takes you through another area of life where you can make simple, practical changes for greater happiness. I'd love to see you start your journey today!   Ingrid Kelada Business Psychologist/Happiness Expert KCC Inc.  

By |2019-11-22T16:27:22-04:00December 15th, 2018|Happiness Tips|Comments Off on Being Grateful

Are You Chasing the Butterfly of Happiness

Is Happiness Like a Butterfly? Sometimes we treat happiness like it's an elusive butterfly in the garden of life. Imagine a young child in the garden on a summer day. He sees a beautiful butterfly flitting from flower to flower. He wants to see it close up, touch it, and hold it in his hands. But as he moves towards the flower that the butterfly is resting on, just as he gets within reach, the butterfly moves to another flower. And so the child follows the butterfly to the next flower, and then the next. But the butterfly always stays just out of reach. Even to adults, happiness can seem just like that butterfly: always just out of reach. It can become almost an obsession and the words “if only…” become an increasingly large part of our thoughts and vocabulary. "If only I had more money I would be happy, if only I was in a great relationship I would be happy, if only I could have a different job..." and the list goes on. This kind of thought life doesn't lead to greater happiness. If we achieve one of our “if only “desires, the happiness we seek somehow manages to stay just out of our reach. Do you remember the expression about the grass being greener on the other side? It's the same idea. Where does happiness come from? The truth is, we won't be completely satisfied by external events or circumstances. To find happiness in life we must first be at peace internally. External events and circumstances can bring us happiness in the moment, but they do not have a lasting effect on our inner self. Life brings a mixture of good and bad circumstances to everyone. To rely on life’s experiences for our source of happiness would mean living life in a constant emotional roller coaster ride. Wouldn't it be better to learn to have a steady feeling of contentment rather than be at the mercy of circumstances and be tossed from the high and low feelings like a ship in a storm? Happiness comes from within. The inner contentment that survives the roller coaster ride of life has its roots deep within our being. The source of happiness comes from finding and embracing who we are as a person, and living a life of purpose. We need to find peace in every aspect of our life- the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Acceptance, purpose and peace in all of these areas will give a sense of completion in life. Is happiness an elusive butterfly for you? Spend some time in quiet reflection. Are you neglecting one of the four important parts of who you are and experiencing a sense of emptiness within? The more you discover, embrace and accept your uniqueness and purpose, the more you will be able to stop chasing the elusive butterfly of happiness and instead experience the butterfly of happiness coming to you and alighting on your shoulder. You can read more about [...]

By |2020-08-02T14:27:33-04:00July 9th, 2018|Happiness Tips|Comments Off on Are You Chasing the Butterfly of Happiness

5 Choices to Create Happiness

We've all met people who seem to be happy most of the time. You may have assumed these people are just naturally happy, or that they are the lucky people who have an easy life, or they had really loving parents. Often, this is just not the case. In my book, 21 Days to Happiness, I explain how happy people make specific choices regarding their thinking and behavior. Happy people tend to consciously or unconsciously think and behave in ways that result in happiness. Unhappy people unconsciously think and behave in ways that create unhappiness. What choices and thoughts are you making about your happiness? Wherever you are on the happiness continuum, you have the ability to make changes that improve how happy you are. Here are 5 key areas to help you get started. 1. GRATITUDE Happy people are consistently grateful for what they have, rather than complaining about what they don’t have. They notice the many gifts and blessings that come their way and they frequently express gratitude for the everyday things in their lives – the beauty of nature, the food they eat, the smile on a friend’s face, their ability to see, hear, walk, talk. Even many disabled people who may not have the blessings of eyesight, hearing, speech or legs are often happy people because they focus on what they do have and what they can do, rather than focusing on what they are missing out on. 2. OPTIMISM Happy people see the glass as half full, while unhappy people tend to be pessimistic – to see the glass as half empty. Optimistic thinking does not just happen - it is a choice regarding how you see life. Optimistic people are optimistic because they unconsciously or consciously CHOOSE to be optimistic. Instead of noticing everything that is a problem, happy people to look for opportunities. Happy people realize that their thinking is the beginning of a creative process that leads to success. By thinking in positive ways, they move themselves to act in ways that move them closer to their dreams. 3. KINDNESS Happy people choose to be kind and compassionate toward themselves and others. Happy people have learned that how they treat themselves and others determines much of how they feel. Happy people do not wait to be happy before being kind to themselves and others. They realize that their happiness is the RESULT of their caring behavior, not the CAUSE of it. They are kind, caring and compassionate whether or not they feel like it. They have chosen this way of being, and their happiness is the result. 4. FORGIVENESS Happy people do not harbor resentment toward others, even others who have been mean and hurtful toward them. They realize that resentment makes them unhappy, so they choose to allow people their humanness and forgive them their hurtful behavior. Because happy people tend not to take personally others’ uncaring behavior, they don’t get their feelings hurt in the same way that people do who take others’ behavior personally. Happy [...]

By |2019-11-05T07:49:20-04:00October 10th, 2017|Happiness Tips|Comments Off on 5 Choices to Create Happiness
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