Having Powerful Conversations With Myself!

Let me tell you about a topic I’ve been talking about a lot lately in my coaching; a topic that is very common in real life. Over the past year or so time spent with my own thoughts has increased as it has for many of us, offering up many opportunities for good conversations with myself… conscious or unconscious. This inner talk defines, whether we like it or not, who we are. I’m talking about that little inner voice that constantly whispers in our ear, shaping our thoughts and therefore our actions. This voice can inspire us, but it can also crush us. In these moments of doubt, I force myself to take a break to do two things:

1- Become aware of the discussion going on in my head
2- Regain control of the discussion by changing the dialogue to my advantage…

Now, I can already hear you saying “Jean-François, it’s really not that easy. I can change the dialogue, but if I don’t believe what I’m saying to myself…” Well, you are absolutely righ!. Do you think Mohammed Ali believed his affirmation “I am the greatest” the first few times he said it to himself? Probably not. But as he said it to himself, he took the step-by-step actions to make that statement a reality and began to believe it beyond a shadow of a doubt. He took some opportunities that he might not have otherwise considered. This leads to Step 3:

3- Apply/Repeat this new dialogue daily to align your actions to it and thus believe in it more and more each day.

I recently saw an interesting text on Facebook that illustrates this taking back control of our inner dialogue, or rather this reframing.

If one day you tell yourself that:

I am a big loser
No one will dare to think that
I can accomplish great things
I know that
I will fail at everything I do
I no longer believe that
I can succeed
I am worthless
I stopped telling myself that
I have confidence in myself
I am convinced of one thing
I am useless
and it would be silly to think that
I am a beautiful person

So read it again, but from the bottom up.

Remember: Awareness = Power. If I perceive this inner dialogue and become aware that it limits me, then I have the power to change it. It’s up to you to decide how you will do it. Whether it’s via an affirmation that you create for yourself, a quote or piece of text that you connect to. Go ahead and try several options and see what inspires you.

I’ll leave you with a little text that serves me in those moments when I want to change my inner dialogue. This is a text by Marianne Williamson that inspired me throughout the years.

“Our deepest fear is not that we don’t measure up. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond all limits. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. (…) To restrict ourselves and to see ourselves as small does the world a disservice. (…) We are all born to shine, as children do. (…) As we let our own light shine, unconsciously we give others permission to do the same. As we free ourselves from our own fear, our presence automatically frees others.”

Have a good conversation with yourself. 😊

Jean-François Drouin
Certified Coach – Trainer – KCC Partner
November 2021