How Gratitude in Relationships Boosts Joy

How Gratitude in Relationships Boosts Joy “Practicing gratitude invites joy into our lives.” – Dr. Brene Brown, PhD, LMSW The relationship between joy and gratitude is a powerful one. We’ve talked before about the incredibly positive impact a gratitude practice can have on our personal happiness. This year, as we head into the holiday season, let’s talk about the effect of gratitude on our relationship happiness. 1. Reminds Us of the Value of Our Relationships It may be an old habit to say thank you to your partner, friends, or family members when they do something for you but taking a moment to think about how their actions affect you and what it says about who they are will help you mine more joy. When someone notices you struggling to carry bags of groceries and steps in to hold a door or help carry the bags, it means they are paying attention to our needs. What a blessing it is to have someone who notices our needs and takes action to meet them, even in small ways. 2. Helps Us Turn Our Gratitude into Action When we take note of our feelings of gratitude for the people in our lives, we start to become more aware of their needs. We start to notice the ways we can show our appreciation to them. This doesn’t mean having to create a grand gesture. Kind words and small favors are powerful ways to show our gratitude to others. And they matter. And what happens when we do something that generates gratitude in someone else? Joy blooms for us, too. 3. Allows Us to Believe the Best It’s much easier to overlook small inconveniences or challenging exchanges when we have a full reserve of gratitude in ourselves. Those moments that generated gratitude—the kitchen your family helped clean up or the favorite coffee someone grabbed for you the morning after a long night—make it easier to overlook the next time someone forgets to meet a responsibility or has a grouchy morning. The gratitude memories make it easier to remember that our friend or family member is more than this momentary, disappointing situation. Their character is more easily defined by the positive ways they connect with us in our lives, which is another way gratitude in relationships boosts joy. 4. Motivates Us to Keep Our Relationships One of the amazing things we learn from research about gratitude in relationships is that gratitude is a powerful predictor of whether the relationship will last. Romantic relationships in which people feel little gratitude toward one another are less likely to last long-term. Relationships with the highest levels of gratitude between people are much more likely to last. That alone is a powerful statement, and it makes a lot of sense. When we’re in relationships in which people feel gratitude for us, we feel valued and great about ourselves. When we’re in relationships in which we express gratitude, we experience more happiness. Looking at it that way, it’s easy to [...]

By |2023-11-15T19:31:48-04:00November 15th, 2023|Happiness Tips|
Read More

5 Easy Ways to Start a Daily Gratitude Practice 

5 Easy Ways to Start a Daily Gratitude Practice In the push from Halloween to Christmas, sometimes we lose sight of one of the most important traditions in holiday celebration: pausing to be thankful. In her research on joy, Daring Greatly author Brené Brown noticed a connection she didn’t expect. People who were living joyful lives also followed a daily gratitude practice. What does that mean? Practicing gratitude goes further than having an “attitude of gratitude”, though that’s a great place to begin. A gratitude practice means taking action or spending time purposefully reflecting on experiences, relationships, and things we are grateful for. This year, as the holidays approach, make a point to pause and reflect on the moments you’re grateful for. Maybe for you, it’s that coffee date with a friend, or watching your favorite holiday movie. How can you reduce stress and celebrate gratitude along with your holiday traditions this year? Here are 5 easy ways to add a gratitude practice to your life. 1. Keep a Gratitude Journal Start a journal and commit to writing in it every day. Set a time to do this, perhaps just before bed or in the morning when you first wake up. List three things you’re thankful for. If you prefer the tech approach, there are many apps like 3 Good Things or 5 Minute Journal to log in the things that you feel thankful for. Once you get into the habit, you may find days where it’s hard to limit yourself to just three! 2. Create a Gratitude Jar Place a large vase or jar in a central area in your home alongside scraps of paper and a pen. Write down something you’re grateful for every day on a slip of paper and place it in the jar. Consider setting a time of day when you add something to the jar. Also set a time of the month or season when you sit down and read the notes in the jar. Perhaps every Sunday evening, so that you go into a new workweek with a boost of gratitude. You can do this alone or with your family and perhaps read your “best moments” together during the year end holidays! 3. Take a Savoring Walk Each day, take a “savoring walk”. Spend about twenty minutes walking outside. Let your mind slow down and notice the shapes of the trees, the sound of the wind, and the feel of the sun on your face. Pause to appreciate these things and acknowledge your gratitude for them. 4. Appreciate by Abstaining There are many ways in which we live comfortable lives. We have food to eat, electricity, and internet access. We have access to books and media through stores and libraries. One way to practice gratitude is to choose to abstain from a pleasurable experience for a period of time. You may try giving up sweets, your favorite store-bought latte, or try a social media detox for a period of time, such as a [...]

By |2023-03-24T12:02:26-04:00November 22nd, 2022|Happiness Tips|
Read More

3 Tips to Avoid Holiday Stress so You Can Celebrate What Matters

3 Tips to Avoid Holiday Stress so You Can Celebrate What Matters Sometimes the excitement of having time off, being with friends and family, sharing our favorite foods and drinks and creating special memories can get lost to the holiday stress of preparing for each event. What can we do to minimize stress and maximize happiness this holiday season? Here are 3 tips to boost your joy and be more “zen” this holiday. 1. Give Yourself Permission to Update Your Plans. If you find yourself dreading a particular event or aspect of the holidays, take the time to pause and examine why. Are you dreading a particular event because it’s located in a difficult place to get to? Are you feeling overwhelmed by the number of things crowding your calendar and really wishing you could take a break from the hustle and bustle? Give yourself a moment to understand what’s causing the holiday stress. Once you understand what it is, ask yourself some questions: What happens if you skip this event? Is it essential for you to attend? Could you make an appearance for an hour and then excuse yourself gracefully? If it’s a small event that you’ve organized, is it something you can reschedule to after the holiday rush is over, when you can enjoy it more? 2. Put Your Favorite Holiday Traditions on Your Calendar. Take a few minutes to think about your favorite holiday moments. Is there a specific activity that’s your favorite? Do you love putting on Christmas music and decorating a tree? Is there a holiday treat or meal that’s your favorite? A holiday movie or show you’ve been looking forward to? List your top two or three favorite holiday traditions and put them on your calendar now. You might consider timing them so that you have something special to look forward to the day after something you’re not as excited about doing, or as a space-holder in the middle of a week that’s sure to be super busy. Putting the things that are special to you on the calendar makes sure you don’t reach the end of the holiday season feeling like you’ve missed out on the things that matter to you. 3. Find Simple Ways to Give. Giving at the holidays helps us capture joy by spreading it. It also helps us feel grateful for the things we have. Sometimes that joy and gratitude are exactly what we needed to bring us out of our holiday stress and pull us back into a place where we can enjoy and celebrate this special time of the year. The holidays are saturated with opportunities to give, from donation buckets outside department stores to toy drives to opportunities to provide a holiday meal for a family in need. You might find out that someone in your community or family needs help with a something specific. Maybe you simply buy coffee for the person behind you in line at the coffee shop. Happy Holidays from KCC! Give [...]

By |2021-12-06T13:15:17-04:00December 6th, 2021|Happiness Tips|
Read More

5 Ways to Celebrate the Holidays with Social Distancing

5 Ways to Happily Celebrate the Holidays in a Socially Distanced Season With the challenges and losses we’ve faced this year, gearing up for happy holidays may feel more overwhelming than usual. Some of our traditions may be altered or impossible this year. It’s easy to get focused on the things that are missing, to notice the empty spots on the calendar where a holiday party might once have been. It’s okay to grieve for those things. What we don’t want to do, though, is let the losses swallow up our attention and steal the possibilities of other happy holiday celebrations. Instead, take some time to reimagine your holidays. Are there things you can update or reinvent that allow you to celebrate in a socially distanced way? Here are 5 ideas to jumpstart your imagination and help you reframe your traditions and help you keep the happy in your holidays. 1. Send Videos to Friends and Family Use an app like Marco Polo or another app that lets you record a video message and send it to a loved one. Then record yourself or your family. Make it as serious or as funny as you want. A quick Internet search will give you lots more ideas. 2. Have a Holiday Movie Marathon Fix your favorite snacks and warm drinks and curl up on the couch with your household to watch holiday movies together. My favorites are Elf and Love Actually. What are yours? Some movie apps have a feature where you can set up a “watch party” and invite other households, so you can watch the movie together, even if you’re not in front of the same TV. 3. Make or Send a Gift Basket or Stocking Many families will choose to forego or postpone an in-person gift exchange this year, but you can still send something special to the ones you love. Personalizing the gifts with notes on why you chose each item or what made you think of the receiver will help bring you closer together. 4. Choose a Special Holiday Dish to Prepare Lots of holiday traditions center around food and sharing big meals together. It may be impossible to recreate those on your own, but choose one dish—maybe a favorite dessert or treat or Aunt Lucy’s famous sweet potatoes, whatever makes the holiday special to you—and ask your family member for the recipe for that dish. Serve it with whatever you want, even order the rest of the meal prepared if you prefer. Share some pictures of your baking experience with your loved ones. 5. Volunteer and make someone else happy In my book, I mention that one of the most effective way to increase our happiness is through acts of kindness. There are so many ways you and your family can pay it forward. Some people may be alone this year, why not make cards or cookies to let them know that they are special? Make These Holiday Happiness Boosters Your Own Try the ideas [...]

By |2020-12-16T12:01:37-04:00December 16th, 2020|Happiness Tips|
Read More
Go to Top