How Gratitude in Relationships Boosts Joy
“Practicing gratitude invites joy into our lives.” – Dr. Brene Brown, PhD, LMSW
The relationship between joy and gratitude is a powerful one. We’ve talked before about the incredibly positive impact a gratitude practice can have on our personal happiness. This year, as we head into the holiday season, let’s talk about the effect of gratitude on our relationship happiness.
1. Reminds Us of the Value of Our Relationships
It may be an old habit to say thank you to your partner, friends, or family members when they do something for you but taking a moment to think about how their actions affect you and what it says about who they are will help you mine more joy.
When someone notices you struggling to carry bags of groceries and steps in to hold a door or help carry the bags, it means they are paying attention to our needs. What a blessing it is to have someone who notices our needs and takes action to meet them, even in small ways.
2. Helps Us Turn Our Gratitude into Action
When we take note of our feelings of gratitude for the people in our lives, we start to become more aware of their needs. We start to notice the ways we can show our appreciation to them.
This doesn’t mean having to create a grand gesture. Kind words and small favors are powerful ways to show our gratitude to others. And they matter.
And what happens when we do something that generates gratitude in someone else?
Joy blooms for us, too.
3. Allows Us to Believe the Best
It’s much easier to overlook small inconveniences or challenging exchanges when we have a full reserve of gratitude in ourselves. Those moments that generated gratitude—the kitchen your family helped clean up or the favorite coffee someone grabbed for you the morning after a long night—make it easier to overlook the next time someone forgets to meet a responsibility or has a grouchy morning.
The gratitude memories make it easier to remember that our friend or family member is more than this momentary, disappointing situation. Their character is more easily defined by the positive ways they connect with us in our lives, which is another way gratitude in relationships boosts joy.
4. Motivates Us to Keep Our Relationships
One of the amazing things we learn from research about gratitude in relationships is that gratitude is a powerful predictor of whether the relationship will last. Romantic relationships in which people feel little gratitude toward one another are less likely to last long-term. Relationships with the highest levels of gratitude between people are much more likely to last.
That alone is a powerful statement, and it makes a lot of sense. When we’re in relationships in which people feel gratitude for us, we feel valued and great about ourselves. When we’re in relationships in which we express gratitude, we experience more happiness. Looking at it that way, it’s easy to see why those kinds of relationships last.
Learn More About Practicing Gratitude in Relationships
You can learn more about “cultivating an attitude of gratitude” in my book, 21 Days to Happiness. Each day of the 21-day journey identifies an area of our lives that contributes to our overall happiness and teaches what we can do to start living happier lives today. Day 1 focuses specifically on gratitude practices, and the impact gratitude has on our lives.
Ask us about our KCC interactive conference on Happiness at Work. We can present this practical, science-based program to your company for all employees or a specific team.
