How Gratitude in Relationships Boosts Joy

How Gratitude in Relationships Boosts Joy “Practicing gratitude invites joy into our lives.” – Dr. Brene Brown, PhD, LMSW The relationship between joy and gratitude is a powerful one. We’ve talked before about the incredibly positive impact a gratitude practice can have on our personal happiness. This year, as we head into the holiday season, let’s talk about the effect of gratitude on our relationship happiness. 1. Reminds Us of the Value of Our Relationships It may be an old habit to say thank you to your partner, friends, or family members when they do something for you but taking a moment to think about how their actions affect you and what it says about who they are will help you mine more joy. When someone notices you struggling to carry bags of groceries and steps in to hold a door or help carry the bags, it means they are paying attention to our needs. What a blessing it is to have someone who notices our needs and takes action to meet them, even in small ways. 2. Helps Us Turn Our Gratitude into Action When we take note of our feelings of gratitude for the people in our lives, we start to become more aware of their needs. We start to notice the ways we can show our appreciation to them. This doesn’t mean having to create a grand gesture. Kind words and small favors are powerful ways to show our gratitude to others. And they matter. And what happens when we do something that generates gratitude in someone else? Joy blooms for us, too. 3. Allows Us to Believe the Best It’s much easier to overlook small inconveniences or challenging exchanges when we have a full reserve of gratitude in ourselves. Those moments that generated gratitude—the kitchen your family helped clean up or the favorite coffee someone grabbed for you the morning after a long night—make it easier to overlook the next time someone forgets to meet a responsibility or has a grouchy morning. The gratitude memories make it easier to remember that our friend or family member is more than this momentary, disappointing situation. Their character is more easily defined by the positive ways they connect with us in our lives, which is another way gratitude in relationships boosts joy. 4. Motivates Us to Keep Our Relationships One of the amazing things we learn from research about gratitude in relationships is that gratitude is a powerful predictor of whether the relationship will last. Romantic relationships in which people feel little gratitude toward one another are less likely to last long-term. Relationships with the highest levels of gratitude between people are much more likely to last. That alone is a powerful statement, and it makes a lot of sense. When we’re in relationships in which people feel gratitude for us, we feel valued and great about ourselves. When we’re in relationships in which we express gratitude, we experience more happiness. Looking at it that way, it’s easy to [...]

By |2023-11-15T19:31:48-04:00November 15th, 2023|Happiness Tips|
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Give the Gift of Experiences

What do you buy the person who has everything? Have you heard people ask this question? Sometimes it seems overwhelming to try to think of a gift for a friend, coworker or loved one when they seem to have everything they could ever want already. It's probably because you're thinking of giving them a thing, an object, something they could easily buy. I'm going to tell you a secret about gift giving that will change how you think about birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas celebrations. Ready? Here it is: the best gifts aren't items. They're experiences. Opportunities to Buy Experiences Are All Around Us Look around your community for local events and experiences. Take a music-loving friend to hear a community orchestra or a jazz ensemble. Find a new park or trail to hike together and pack some fun snacks to share along the journey. Is there a show or an exhibit coming to a museum or gallery near you that your spouse or coworker might enjoy? You can also help your friends and family members by suggesting these kinds of experiences as gifts. Doing something together to celebrate your birthday creates a memory that lasts. It gives you new stories to share and gets you out of your routine to add a little freshness to your life. Celebrate with Experiences Any Day Giving experiences doesn't have to be expensive. You can bring them muffins, take a picnic lunch somewhere fun. Pick up smoothies and walk at a local park. Invite someone for coffee or for a meal. Spending time together and getting away from daily distractions allows you a chance to connect to the people who matter most to you. You don't even have to wait for a special day to celebrate. You can give this happiness-boosting gift any day! So this year, as the people around you celebrate milestones, keep experiences close in mind. Look for opportunities to share them with the people you appreciate to show how much you care by giving them a lasting gift of happiness. Get More Tips and Information on Improving Your Happiness Learn more about how experiences impact happiness in Day 16: Money: Buy Experiences, Not Things, in my book, 21 Days to Happiness.

By |2019-11-05T07:17:09-04:00March 11th, 2019|Happiness Tips|
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How Connections Create Happiness

Connections Are Key Do you want to know one of the best secrets to true happiness? It's probably not what you think. One of the greatest ways to have a happy life is to create connections with others. Does this sound too easy? Too hard? The truth is, relationships can be challenging. But they also bring the greatest rewards we can imagine. Connections with People Think about the people in your life with whom you have connections. You look forward to seeing them. They give your life some unpredictability. Something to look forward to. You never know exactly what they'll say or do. A chat with a friend or peer can provide an opportunity to celebrate your successes or share a disappointment and gain some perspective or get some advice. "A joy that's shared is a joy made double" Proverb Connections with Nature In addition to connecting with people, forging a connection with the world gives us the opportunity to step away from the chaos and appreciate the greatness around us. Spend time outside, listening to the sounds of nature. You'll find just doing this alleviates some feelings of anxiety and stress. Take a walk and enjoy the trees, flowers, and birds around you. Allow yourself a few moments to marvel at how intricate and beautiful nature really is. Focus on that feeling of gratitude. Feel happier? Great! Take Happiness with You Take that positive experience with you to your next appointment or meeting. Smile when you greet other people. Ask other people how they're doing, and mean it. Giving your attention forges connections with people and spreads happiness. They'll feel happier, and so will you. This kind of connected life will take the focus away from your complaints. Instead of noticing all the things that don't go the way you want, you'll begin to notice the things that you're grateful for. People want to spend more time with someone who makes them feel good. When you are a person full of gratitude and positive energy, that makes people want to spend more time with you. Create Authentic Connections This doesn't mean you can't vent to or confide in others. You don't have to pretend to be happy when you aren't. People feel close to someone who shares an authentic self. If you're unhappy, and need to talk about something, seek out a trusted friend and open up to them. It may prove to be an opportunity for you both to bond and explore solutions and paves the way for new, happier experiences to come. In my book, 21 Days to Happiness, I talk about how important connections to others are for happiness and how to nurture those relationships. Find out more in my book  in Day 19, Relationships: Better than Money in the Bank.

By |2019-11-22T16:13:27-04:00August 21st, 2018|Happiness Tips|
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20 Ways to Make Someone Smile

Spread Happiness with a Smile Do you want to put a smile on someone's face today? Maybe make their day a little better? It won't cost a single penny or much time to do just that. And because smiling is contagious, you'll find that making one person smile causes happiness to spread like a sweet smell on a warm breeze. 20 Ways to Make Someone Smile Challenge yourself. See how many of these smile-spreading techniques you can complete this week! 1.  Smile at someone. 2.  Compliment a friend or work colleague. 3.  Donate something to charity. 4.  Take a friend out to lunch. 5.  Let someone know you miss them. 6.  Make a surprise call to your partner or a friend at work, just to say hi. 7.  Hold a door open for someone walking behind you. 8.  Hug your partner for no reason. 9.  Share a joke with someone. 10. Send a card or note to a friend or coworker letting them know you appreciate something they've done. 11. Give up your seat on the train or bus to someone. 12. Share your umbrella on a rainy day. 13. Ask a friend if they need anything while you're out shopping. 14. Plan a picnic! Raining outside? How about an indoor picnic! 15. Leave a love letter somewhere where your partner will find it. 16. Send someone an unexpected gift like a tasty snack or a book they'll enjoy. 17. Tell your child you're proud of them or tell a coworker they're doing a great job. 18. Tell someone you thought about them. 19. Cook a surprise meal for your partner or friends one night, especially if they normally do the cooking. 20. Send some flowers to your partner or a friend at work. Did you know it takes only 17 muscles to smile, but 43 to frown. Why waste all that energy frowning when you could just smile. 5 more facts about smiling 1. Women smile more than men. 2. Smiling releases endorphins that make us feel better. 3. We are all born with the ability to smile, it's not something we learn from others. 4. A smile is a universal expression of happiness. 5. A smiling person is thought to be a more pleasant, attractive, sociable, sincere and competent than a non-smiling person. Just remember, smiling is the easiest and cheapest way of improving your looks. For more tips and ideas on spreading happiness through acts of kindness, check out Day 9 Kindness: Pay It Forward in my book, 21 Days to Happiness.   Ingrid Kelada Business Psychologist/Happiness Expert KCC Inc.  

By |2019-11-22T16:26:25-04:00July 22nd, 2018|Happiness Tips|
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7 Unique Ways to Make Someone Smile

Making Someone Smile is Easier Than You Think. Do you want to put a smile on someone's face?  Maybe make their day a little bit brighter?  It doesn't have to take much time or money on your part.  In fact, many things can be done as a part of your normal routine and cost little or nothing.  We  often underestimate how people can be affected by an act of kindness and they are contagious, so it's well worth the small effort. Try out one or more of these 7 ways today, and put a smile on someone's face. Spread a little happiness today! 1. Send a positive message. We often don't take the time to send a positive email or text message. Handwritten notes are even more rare...just grab a "Post-It". Start a new practice: take a few minutes to write/send a positive note on a regular basis. You just might start an epidemic! 2. Take someone out to lunch or coffee or invite them to your home.  You will get to know each other even better than you do right now. If you feel like being more adventurous, throw a small party for several of your friends or colleagues and put smiles on a multitude of faces. 3. Give someone an inspirational book to read. You will feel good doing it, reading the book can change or inspire the person, and they will think of you every time they read it. You can share my book, 21 Days to Happiness, or one of the books from my recommended reading list! 4. Offer to babysit or take care of a pet for a few hours. You know the value of being able to have a few hours of "alone time" without worrying about the children and pets. Don't wait to be asked. Offer to do it at a time when the person can do something fun and relaxing. 5. Deliver a meal to someone you know that is sick or having a rough time. We have all been sick and know the last thing you want to do is to cook. There are also times when life is tough and it is hard to do all of the daily chores. You can be a tremendous help by providing a meal that can be enjoyed. 6. Volunteer your time to a local charity.  Every minute you dedicate will cause many smiles.  It is very rewarding to help without being asked. 7. Thank everyone that supports you throughout the day.  The list of those that you come in contact with is endless.  Remember family and friends, co-workers, teachers, store employees, janitors, those that deliver your mail and staff at restaurants. Don't Forget to Smile So there you have it. Seven ideas for ways to make someone smile. There is one more way that can't be ignored: reveal a genuine smile to everyone you meet.​ You will experience how easy it is to get others to smile! Learn more about happiness and how to spread happiness to others in my book 21 Days [...]

By |2019-11-05T07:44:56-04:00January 30th, 2018|Happiness Tips|
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