We are Always Pursuing Happiness Think about it ... every single thing we do is intended to make us happier. The people we choose to spend time with. The ways we spend our time. And yet sometimes we get distracted and do things that actually move us away from this goal. We all have the potential for genuine happiness. We make choices throughout our lives. Each option is like a series of locked doors in front of us. We choose which path to follow and open the door we've chosen. The result of all these choices combined determines our level of happiness. Make the right choices and happiness can be yours. Ten Keys to Greater Happiness Here are some tactics we can follow on our journey toward genuine happiness: 1. Look For The Positive In Everything: You know the old saying about a glass being half-full or half-empty? Finding the positive means choosing to focus on the parts of a situation that are going your way. Do this and you will be happier. Those who soar against all odds, do so because they look at the positive that could come out of their situation, how ever bad it may seem to others. 2. Accentuate The Positive: From a young age we are taught what we must not do instead of what we may do. Don't run with scissors. Don't jump on the bed. Don't cross the street without looking both ways. Even in day-to-day life, there is more negative influence that positive. Luckily you can work to improve the balance. Phrase things in your mind as positives. Focus on DO rather than DON'T. Celebrate the positive and work to get more of it. When you achieve something, congratulate yourself! 3. Practice Good Selfishness: When we were young we were taught that putting our interests before those of others is wrong. This is particularly true for women, many of whom sacrifice their dreams and ambitions to help others achieve theirs. It is also common in the corporate world where the good of the company is considered more important than the good of the individual. Helping others and being a team player are important things, but we need boundaries to protect ourselves from being manipulated or abused by others. You are important, and you must look after yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually. 4. Listen To Your Feelings: Feelings are your body's messengers. They make us aware of circumstances around and inside us. Sometimes those messages are pleasant, other times not. Our tendency is to distract ourselves from unpleasant feelings or to resist them in some way. Sometimes we tell ourselves we shouldn't be angry or sad or frustrated by something that has happened to us. The next time you have a feeling like this, take a moment to stop and experience it. So what if it's caused by a situation outside your control (like frustration over rush hour traffic). Take a deep breath an acknowledge your feeling. You don't have to live in it, but pushing it away [...]
Are you a worrier? "I know worry works because nothing I worry about ever happens." Have you heard of this quote? It sounds funny, but it's not far from the truth! It's normal to worry from time to time, but more and more people seem to worry about the smallest stuff. They also worry about the big things, too, of course, like health, relationships, and finances. Because worrying can be overwhelming and counterproductive, when writing my book 21 Days to Happiness, I decided to try to understand it through research and dedicated the chapter "Don't Worry Be Happy" to address how to decrease it. Maybe you'd like to know what to do about it. 3 Strategies for Peace of Mind: 1) Practice catching yourself. During a recent phone call with a friend, I caught the person worrying 5 times about 5 different things. I'm not kidding. "Hey, you're worrying again." What I've learned is that worry is a mental habit. You can change habits; but you have to catch yourself first in order to stop it. 2) Practice thought switching. Once you catch yourself worrying, decide to think about something else. By this I mean, think of something that is more positive, perhaps a project or passion that will take your mind off whatever you are worried about. Are you planing an event, a trip or have some work goals you could focus on? Remember, "worrying is like a rocking chair...it keeps you busy, but it doesn't get you anywhere." 3) Act, file, or throw it away. Decide to do one of three things: decide to address the issue right then by finding a solution; if you can't do anything about it at the moment, give yourself a time to address it later; or decide that it is not important and let it go. In other words, act on it, file it or throw it away. Awareness and acknowledgment are the keys to changing our habits. If you tend to worry a lot, try to lighten up. 95% of what we worry about doesn't happen. What a waste of time and energy that can be. Of course, if there's a problem, find a solution...but let's not imagine and create problems that aren't there! What strategies work for you? Leave a comment or post on my 21 Days to Happiness Facebook page to tell me about it. My book, 21 Days to Happiness, describes additional strategies for setting aside worry for greater happiness. Ingrid Kelada Business Psychologist/Happiness Expert KCC Inc.
Choices, choices Success and happiness tend to go hand and hand, but you have to define what would make you feel successful and happy. Sometimes success and happiness will lead you in two different directions. For example, you may find that your current situation makes you happy, but if you ever want a promotion, you will probably have to give up some things in order to step up to your new challenges. You should always consider what is more important to you at that time. While financial success can be appealing, the happiness which comes from personal success often lasts longer and feels better. Set Your Happiness Goals Life can be frustrating or seem meaningless at times: get up, to work, run a bunch of errands, repeat! You should set some key goals in order to find happiness and success. Take time to consider what kind of life you want to have. We are all different, so ask yourself: what would make me truly happy? Be intentional about setting goals for yourself. Break your goals into smaller, bite-sized pieces and aim for those steps which lead you toward the bigger goal. Be flexible. You may change your mind about reaching certain goals as you learn more about yourself and the goals you've set. Your priorities may change because you've taken a new job or started a new relationship. That's okay. Changing your mind isn't giving up or failing, it's about being agile and adaptable. Adjust your goals to reflect your updated ideals. Just Do Happy Happiness and success do take some practice. What daily behaviors will make you feel great? Right now, close your eyes and think of three things which you want to accomplish on your journey toward being happy and successful. Jot them down. Begin by thinking of small steps and actions that will help you achieve the things you really want. Place your list somewhere you can see it on a daily basis. Hang it next to the bathroom mirror or on your refrigerator or next to your computer monitor. Do something everyday that will help you achieve your goals. Being happy and successful are possible for everyone, but the definitions of happiness and success also differ from person to person. Don't get distracted by trying to achieve goals that other people value. Life is too short. Do you! Make sure you identify and revisit what's important to you and spend your time and energy pursuing the individual path which will take you toward your own happier future. My book, 21 Days to Happiness, talks more about being intentional with our goals as part of the 21 day journey toward a happier life. Each chapter contains more resources and tips to help you craft your own happiness. I'd love for you to spend three weeks with me!