How Connections Create Happiness

Connections Are Key Do you want to know one of the best secrets to true happiness? It's probably not what you think. One of the greatest ways to have a happy life is to create connections with others. Does this sound too easy? Too hard? The truth is, relationships can be challenging. But they also bring the greatest rewards we can imagine. Connections with People Think about the people in your life with whom you have connections. You look forward to seeing them. They give your life some unpredictability. Something to look forward to. You never know exactly what they'll say or do. A chat with a friend or peer can provide an opportunity to celebrate your successes or share a disappointment and gain some perspective or get some advice. "A joy that's shared is a joy made double" Proverb Connections with Nature In addition to connecting with people, forging a connection with the world gives us the opportunity to step away from the chaos and appreciate the greatness around us. Spend time outside, listening to the sounds of nature. You'll find just doing this alleviates some feelings of anxiety and stress. Take a walk and enjoy the trees, flowers, and birds around you. Allow yourself a few moments to marvel at how intricate and beautiful nature really is. Focus on that feeling of gratitude. Feel happier? Great! Take Happiness with You Take that positive experience with you to your next appointment or meeting. Smile when you greet other people. Ask other people how they're doing, and mean it. Giving your attention forges connections with people and spreads happiness. They'll feel happier, and so will you. This kind of connected life will take the focus away from your complaints. Instead of noticing all the things that don't go the way you want, you'll begin to notice the things that you're grateful for. People want to spend more time with someone who makes them feel good. When you are a person full of gratitude and positive energy, that makes people want to spend more time with you. Create Authentic Connections This doesn't mean you can't vent to or confide in others. You don't have to pretend to be happy when you aren't. People feel close to someone who shares an authentic self. If you're unhappy, and need to talk about something, seek out a trusted friend and open up to them. It may prove to be an opportunity for you both to bond and explore solutions and paves the way for new, happier experiences to come. In my book, 21 Days to Happiness, I talk about how important connections to others are for happiness and how to nurture those relationships. Find out more in my book  in Day 19, Relationships: Better than Money in the Bank.

By |2019-11-22T16:13:27-04:00August 21st, 2018|Happiness Tips|Comments Off on How Connections Create Happiness

Vital Leadership Question: What Does Our Organization Reward?

 A Good Leader ListensWhat sets leaders apart? Good leaders not only ask good questions, but they actually listen to the answers. Ask people in your organization: "What does our organization REALLY reward?" Listening to the answer may help you achieve a huge increase in results.Over the years I've worked with thousands of leaders, and I've learned that many organizations reward the wrong things.Some organizations may pay lip service to rewarding people for what is viewed as the right things: getting the right results in the right ways. But what they may really reward, often in terms of promotions and job perks, are things like "not rocking the boat", seniority, managing their image, working HARD, but not SMART.Transform Wrong Rewards into Right ResultsHere is a way to transform wrong rewards into right results.1. Find out what your organization really rewards. Take some time to ask the people in your organization what brings them the highest rewards. The answers may surprise you. Resist the urge to get caught up in those answers. Don't make value judgments. At this stage, you are just an observer. Simply compile the list and ask them what they would find more motivating.2. Execute a "Stop-start-continue" process. Gauge each item on the list against results your organization and employees really need. Does it help get results? Does it detract from results? For each item, identify the problem and who controls the solution. What reward do you stop, what do you start and what do you continue?3. Evaluate what your leadership rewards. When your leadership rewards the wrong things, you're getting a fraction of the results you're capable of. However, since we see the faults of others more clearly than our own, it may be more difficult identifying and dealing with your own issues rather than your organization's. Work with a trusted team member to be sure you're giving yourself a fair assessment. Use the stop-start-continue method to improve your own leadership reward behavior.Continue to Pursue the Healthy Reward System in Your Organization--Set aside special times and places to have your team focus exclusively on rewards evaluation, making sure they continually link the answers to what's important to them, thus increasing results.--Keep the link between right rewards and better results in sharp focus. This is not an academic exercise. It's not meant to simply make people feel good or vent their frustrations. Don't devolve into name-calling and finger-pointing. The idea is not to use the rewards evaluation to punish anyone or as a platform for stirring up dissatisfaction but instead for what it is meant to be: a powerful tool to get people engaged.Commit to Ongoing Evaluation for the Best SuccessYou'll get results, but don't expect overnight success. Just keep asking, What does my organization really reward? In the long run, when tackling the challenges that comes with listening to the answers, you'll be getting better results as well as sharpening your leadership skills.People often complain about a lack of recogntition, let's stop talking about it and start doing [...]

By |2019-11-05T07:35:25-04:00May 23rd, 2018|Leadership Tips|Comments Off on Vital Leadership Question: What Does Our Organization Reward?
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